The one and only Quidditch Sex God.

… -coughs awkwardly-

tonkadora:

oliverrubmywood:

tonkadora:

oliverrubmywood:

Tonkadora. Well… yes, it did mess up a bit. Mam was babying me because Lizzie and Evan aren’t home anymore, they’re both off in America or Canada or France or what have you. She rarely gets to see us now.

The Ministry’s been falling off a lot, hmm? I’ll stay away from all camps except the Quidditch ones. -takes a step back and laughs again- Bloody hell, I won’t be kidnapped. And I’m sorry for disappearing, mate, but I’ve got things to do!

Aww, Olly is Mammy Wood’s liccle baby again? She’s not broody, is she? You never know, she might not be doing it as a replacement but more preparation… 

When was the Ministry ever really on? It’s a nut house, truly. Anyhow, bugger your things! Wait, actually… *Places a hand over her mouth and sniggers quietly* Forget I said that. You could of owled at least. It’s been months, mate! Months! I’ve had to resort to drinking with work colleagues. Do you know how much pain and agony I have suffered at the hands of your carelessness?

Yeah, I’m stuck with being the baby again…  And don’t say that. Good grief.

Well… you do have a point, I suppose. -rolls his eyes and smiles- You’re so weird. And I could have… I’m sorry, I just didn’t think about that. Didn’t really have time either… Anyways, yes, I’m sorry. I know, I know, they don’t spill naughty secrets like I do and they don’t sing along to dumb songs, I know. I missed you too.

Why? It would be brilliant to have a new Wood. When he ages I could trade you in for the younger model, eh? I would do so with Evan, but he’s… Evan. I can train this one!

I am not weird! *Crosses her arms* I think someone is spiking my coffee. Or this is a side effect of Ollylessness Syndrome. It’s rather tiresome, really. Messes with your brain good and proper. Next time, don’t be so busy. I’m slowly dwindling into insanity. I even considered calling up Quidditch Players to arrange matches and purchasing cats. But then I realised I’d still have tiresome work colleagues to tend to - none of which can hold their drink, and all of which get offended when I throw cusses at them for not supporting good ol’ Puddlemore. *Contemplates him for a few moments before internally saying ‘Oh, fuck it’ and jumping up to wrap her arms around his neck*

Oi! You can’t just… replace me! And you’ve trained me enough, Tonksie. I do the weirdest things for you!

-laughs- You? Not weird? That’s like saying I’m not good at Charms. I vote Ollylessness Syndrome, because it makes me feel important. I’ll try not to be, mate. And… ew. No, they probably would’ve been easy for you to beat. But the cats… humph. Speaking of cats, mam kept mine. ‘Cept Tornado, ‘cause he’s too big and rowdy. And I don’t blame you for cursin’ at ‘em. They should support our team! -smiles before huffing softly and hugging back tightly, laughing- Well, hello there!

Reblogged 1 year ago from tonkadora (Originally from oliverrubmywood) 9 notes